Dive in a pool..

After years of hiding away from swimming, I finally joined a club -an elite one. It has gym, sauna, Jacuzzi, squash. He he I can flaunt.

My mum was a great swimmer of her times. She was born n brought up in Haridwar and Ganga was her play ground (??). She would dive from the highest bridge, would cross whole across banks and even sometime fight out from a whirlpool and could beat all boys around in the mohalla. My dad is fairly a good swimmer too.. They learned swimming on their own... No high gear costumes, no life guards, no safe pool – a dive in nature’s creation and they could swim. And all would say to me - “You don’t know swimming!!” ... Yes, I didn’t – no one taught me, there are hardly few pools in shimla – ok ok I didn’t learn it ever.
And surprisingly I love water and have tried so many water sports. I did banana ride even when I didn’t know swimming- it was high time to learn and the best way to - beat Delhi’s heat. (It rhymes)

Finally, I got this chance and I joined the new fitness alley in my society. After days of laziness, pool opens at 6 am and finishes at 10 am (and I was always sleeping between this time), one day I made up mind to join.

So before joining there were other big hurdles – oh yes I’m fashion conscious- all Speedo! So a swim wear, swim cap, I left goggles thinking it will be too much – special shower gel, sunscreen the list was growing. And then finally I was ready for a dive in the pool.
The way I entered all geared up in costume my coach did think I’m a professional. And I entered water and stood and stood for long. Finally he came and asked “first day??”. I was as shy as I was in junior school and teacher would say “first day??”. He taught me few basics – and I think I can float now. He says in next 10 days I would be able to swim well.
I’m very committed and I do want to learn it. Till now its fun – coach is bollywood ishtyle – he doesn’t even step into water and he is coaching us imagine – but I’m a good learner or may be I have inherited the art. I think I would soon be replicating my mom who is just waiting to have a competition with me… I have to try hard!!!

I'm not - not moving on

I was trying to explore myself. Know how I really am.Am I contented, gloomy? I have erudite to move on. Yes today I hate these words
“Move on”. I moved on everything. Once I thought that’s the way to live
Keep moving on and things would be fine. And yes they were.
But now when I look back, there are so many things I wish I could change.

I’m writing not for a blog, I think I’m talking to myself. I wanted to talk, talk to someone but is there anyone who would understand me better than me myself, someone who would listen to my heart, not as a story but as my feelings?


Yes, today I’m sad, very sad just like I have been always but today I don’t want to move on. I want to halt and ask myself – from what I have been running. I want answers but I know at the end I will move on or can I win over myself?

We all fear, fear from something – that something is within us and we keep running from ourselves. We go out, socialize, meet people and make ourselves so tired before coming home that we just sleep so that we are not alone as we all are scared to face ourselves. I always have two voices within me. One voice question me for every wrong thing I do, other ask me to move on. May be that is how I’m.

Now I want to stop. I had enough of running. I want to sort old things and only then move on. I know I will. This time I will. This time I’m not scared to be alone - I’m ready to face myself. It’s just one voice within me this time.

I ran places to hide, hide from myself – this time it’s me and only me. I ran for dependency, for people to help me – I didn’t know I was strong. Today it’s different. The path I’ve taken is new. I feel good. I’m smiling. Smiling from my heart – I‘d lost this smile ages back.
I would come back as a winner. I’m going to win this time – I’m going to sort out.. I’m not moving on – I’m not moving on.

Life's Like that

"Suno na" - Jhankar beats
Not that that this was the first time I was listening the song, but this time it was different.

"Life's like that" - this phrase means so much to me.Life teaches you lessons, help you growing and take you places. "Life's like that".
Life makes you meet new people, makes you learn new things, help you overcoming your failures - "life's like that."

Now coming back to the song once again. Like I said before life takes you places teaches you lessons.Over the period of time life has taught me to deal. Deal with people, colleagues, friends, assholes, and with life itself.Going through the rough phase and then encountering sunshine, I know how to deal.

The lyrics touched me "door ho kar bhi door tum nahin ho, paas ho lekin paas kyun nahi ho") (You are far but not that far, yet so close but still not so close)

And then suddenly I could just apply it to everything in my life. My professional goals, which I once thought I'm quite far and I had to work hard, I did and I reached closer to them but yet not so close.My family who's far away in Shimla but still close not yet so close

It's a romantic song but then its up to you what you extract out of the song. I
did these lines."khwab koi dekhta hai.. tum bhi sapne buno na"..So just keep on dreaming - it'll take you places.

A chance to see our roots

I’m short of words to describe how that ONE-day was. So if anywhere you find “…” you know you have to excuse me.

It was an experience so unbelievable that in the morning you got up in that noisy polluted place and within hours you’ve reached a blissful serene meadow.

Jaded grass, kids so blameless, elders so affectionate, and the food…you can chew your fingers with it….

The journey started not so early but still early though for the people for whom Saturday means morning at 1:00 pm.

We started at 8.30 and by 9.30 every one was in the Scorpio to explore a place, which I thought never existed …(It was my first very visit to a VILLAGE). After reaching the first destination, a farmhouse, beautifully made by our Dev Sir, he took us for a round to his fields. The girls were a little late to reach, as every spot was so pretty that you could not resist clicking a shot or two… Moreover, where else would you get such an opportunity to click a portfolio like that;-)…what say girls???

Taking a round in the fields and trying our hands on a little farming ;-) soon after we were nowhere to be found in those sugarcane fields…. The feeling was just like “Honey I shrunk the kids”… voila…we had a blast there!!! We went into the fields to collect some (some?? Or lots??) Vegetables…we were actually working in the fields, waving at the train crossing by made waves inside me saying “mere desh ki dharti…”

And then devour started with sugarcane, fresh ooops farm fresh lemon juice, roasted groundnuts and what not.

After resting for a little while we started for the second destination…that was Dev Sir’s native. We had such a warm welcome there that every second strike a chord in me for “Athithi devo bhava…” Hurda party soon started. In that heavy smoke of cow dung we managed to put one or two hurda stems and they came out nicely roasted. The phrase “having you own dogs food” nicely fit here.

Soon we were on board in the preparation of dinner. All the kids and other people had a smile on that face that left me guessing all the while “Have we gone too complicated or we are trying to be too uncomplicated”. It was difficult to maintain that perfect balance. But whatever be they were more than happy to see all the over excited girls (yelling “so cute..” on almost every thing they see in the open air kitchen) ready to try their hands on food.
We got a little demo of how to make a bhakri on chulha, which seemed very interesting but believe me, once it comes to your hand you only know how you are able to manage in between those eyes ogling at you.

Huh!! Its not as easy a job as writing code with google next to you…Next to you there were kids shyly giggling and wondering “what the heck are they doing??”
But all of us managed to cook our own feast and then we heard some cow bells ringing.
Again excited we left everything and ran towards it. Yes no points for guessing it was a bullock cart. We had a nice ride on it with all the kids telling us stories…. Not horror ones!!
We sat down to have our dinner. The food was yummy. Everything so truly made and served with so much love gave us a feeling that we belong to them.

Finally, we got a chance to milk the cows and that was tricky part of all. Firstly, the panic that it would kick you, secondly again those staring eyes on you and third you don’t know how to do it. If I had to do it daily, poor cow would better opt to get automated instead. Really!!!

At last it was time to leave. Nobody wanted to but we had to as otherwise who would come back and tell you guys all the stories….;-)

The journey back was full of songs, gags, laughs and a proud feeling to have touch your roots and to feel you were the lucky one to have come here.


--- Neha Pandey
(25/02/06)